Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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