thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You really coming over, don't trick.
If that was your dad, he is hot
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His hands were made for my vagina.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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