Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
