But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
