someone get that fucking seahorse.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
