Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
