i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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