'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
