If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
