wrigley field is MILF paradise
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
