Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
