this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
