if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
