Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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