You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
