i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
