Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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