I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
