Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
