you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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