I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
