Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
