I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
