some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
