why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
