You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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