Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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