what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
