Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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