I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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