that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
