You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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