We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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