I cockslap morals
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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