I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A+ Viking dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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