i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
