The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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