She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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