I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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