My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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