were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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