Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
