I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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