his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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