i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
