I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
