ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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