i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
