i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
