so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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