he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
